These last few days have brought home afresh to me the message in Luke 15 when Jesus is talking about the parables of the Lost sheep and the prodigal Son and the cost of Discipleship and forgiveness. I love the way the shepherd kept searching for the one sheep that was lost, leaving the rest and searched until he had found it and then returned back to the rest rejoicing . Also the way that the father welcomed back the prodigal son even though he had made bad choices and treated him really badly, he forgave him and celebrated that His Son had come back home..
My understanding has been awakened this week afresh as one of my older girls aged 16 decided to run away and we had no idea why or to where she had run...she just did not come home from school. The staff tried looking for her but by nightfall they had no idea where she was. I rallied people to pray along with us that God would a. protect her and b. would expose to us where she was hiding. The next day i joined the search for this precious daughter who has been with us for two years and has made so much progress...
Mama Sati and I visited the school, talked to friends, visited friends homes gradually formulating a picture of what had been happening recently and gaining and checking out leads...we were going from here to there meeting so many people , and just when it seemed we were getting no where fast we got a call from her uncle to say she was at his home....and could we go and get her !!! yeah... we were rejoicing that she was ok but had so many unanswered questions that needed answers
God had answered our prayers and exposed where she was...we hurried there and talked with her relations and discovered no real answers ...
Only God really knows the why ? and how ? and where ? we carried our daughter back into the fold to her sisters all who had been so worried about her .
It was then that we had to make some choices, just like the father did in the prodigal son parable we had to accept that she made some bad choices, had probably done some wrong things and we needed to forgive her and love her despite everything.
It is not always easy to do but God calls us to disciple others, to encourage the weaker brothers and sisters in the faith, to forgive when they do wrong and keep loving unconditionally like he does to us.
I don't know what the future holds for her but i do know that i have to ask God to help me trust her again and to keep loving her and to pray she will learn from her mistakes and grow closer to God as a result. I am grateful that our shepherd never gives up on us even when we go astray he will always search for us until we are found and he can bring us home.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Christmas Shopping with a difference.....
This week we have been Christmas shopping for our children, but it is unlikely to be like anything you have experienced yourselves back home...
There are no toys to buy, no special sweets or videos, no decorations in the shops and no Christmas carols playing and this week sees the 1st of December... In this culture the thing that children love to receive more than anything is a new set of clothes and shoes if the parents can afford it....in our case we needed to buy for 250 children...which as you can imagine is quite an ordeal and costs quite a lot of money. It is great to not be caught up in all the trappings associated with the build up to Christmas, so much simpler and the real meaning of Christmas can be the focus.
So this week I was responsible along with Mama Sati and one of our Aunties to find 62 pairs of shoes for our girls and to buy the material for new dresses and headscarves to complete the outfit.
It was a memorable experience...I had asked them to measure the girls feet not really thinking about how they would do that !!! but these ladies are so resourceful they arrived with lots of pieces of straw from the brooms all different lengths with names attatched and little bundles of wool. So we set off for the market.....remember it is very hot dry and dusty here at the moment ...the shoe area of the market is a warren of small concrete stalls one on top of each other with narrow walk ways between...so many small shops all squashed together and all selling the same things it is mind blowing how they can sell anything all competing with each other. We arrive at the first shop and try and browse....but everyone is shouting out to us from all over trying to get our custom...one man persuaded us that he had wholesale shoes and as we needed a large number we followed him...down alleys and eventually upstairs to a shop full of shoes all sides of the walls...we are given a wooden bench to sit on and then are shown all the varieties...
The aunties are satisfied and so he asks what size ??? well i hand him a piece of wool and a wooden stick !!! and we begin...trying to keep the name and the shoe from getting muddled up. While we are there people keep coming in and out trying to get our attention whilst we are getting hotter by the minute and trying to concentrate on the task at hand. The measuring is very random, the colours and styles pretty awful nothing like buying shoes at home. We eventually have around 40 pairs and decide we need to go elsewhere for the larger girls ones...and so the haggling over the price we are prepared to pay begins....satisfied we hand over our money and then a boy is called to take our very large sack to the car...on his head we quickly follow behind and process once more back through the alleyways to find the car....we pay the boy for carrying our bag and then we have to go back and begin again !!!
This time we are looking for more classy shoes with heels for the older girls...each has given their ideas to Mama and so we look for shoes that to me are highly unsuitable for church in the village which is where they will mainly wear them !!!! but i have no idea but Mama knows what she is looking for !!! and she haggles prices and tells the men her exact wishes it is very interesting to watch...but time consuming as you can imagine :)
Eventually we think we have enough and set out to find headscarves. Whilst sitting in a shop on the upper level we suddenly see the head of a rather large lady emerge on a rickety looking spiral staircase...she is crying for help as she is suddenly frightened...i leap up and give her a hand and pull her up....a few minutes later we see a young man trying his luck coming up the stairs too looking for help !!! i told him he was not a damsel in distress ....sorry ...everyone laughed !!
Finally we are done and its 4 pm and we haven't eaten since breakfast.....and now shopping is over the ladies are hungry and no Mc donalds handy so we stop at the side of the road where they are barbequing chickens and fish on old barrels and wait while they cook.....eventually we eat and can laugh at all the craziness of the day....done for another year :)
There are no toys to buy, no special sweets or videos, no decorations in the shops and no Christmas carols playing and this week sees the 1st of December... In this culture the thing that children love to receive more than anything is a new set of clothes and shoes if the parents can afford it....in our case we needed to buy for 250 children...which as you can imagine is quite an ordeal and costs quite a lot of money. It is great to not be caught up in all the trappings associated with the build up to Christmas, so much simpler and the real meaning of Christmas can be the focus.
So this week I was responsible along with Mama Sati and one of our Aunties to find 62 pairs of shoes for our girls and to buy the material for new dresses and headscarves to complete the outfit.
It was a memorable experience...I had asked them to measure the girls feet not really thinking about how they would do that !!! but these ladies are so resourceful they arrived with lots of pieces of straw from the brooms all different lengths with names attatched and little bundles of wool. So we set off for the market.....remember it is very hot dry and dusty here at the moment ...the shoe area of the market is a warren of small concrete stalls one on top of each other with narrow walk ways between...so many small shops all squashed together and all selling the same things it is mind blowing how they can sell anything all competing with each other. We arrive at the first shop and try and browse....but everyone is shouting out to us from all over trying to get our custom...one man persuaded us that he had wholesale shoes and as we needed a large number we followed him...down alleys and eventually upstairs to a shop full of shoes all sides of the walls...we are given a wooden bench to sit on and then are shown all the varieties...
The aunties are satisfied and so he asks what size ??? well i hand him a piece of wool and a wooden stick !!! and we begin...trying to keep the name and the shoe from getting muddled up. While we are there people keep coming in and out trying to get our attention whilst we are getting hotter by the minute and trying to concentrate on the task at hand. The measuring is very random, the colours and styles pretty awful nothing like buying shoes at home. We eventually have around 40 pairs and decide we need to go elsewhere for the larger girls ones...and so the haggling over the price we are prepared to pay begins....satisfied we hand over our money and then a boy is called to take our very large sack to the car...on his head we quickly follow behind and process once more back through the alleyways to find the car....we pay the boy for carrying our bag and then we have to go back and begin again !!!
This time we are looking for more classy shoes with heels for the older girls...each has given their ideas to Mama and so we look for shoes that to me are highly unsuitable for church in the village which is where they will mainly wear them !!!! but i have no idea but Mama knows what she is looking for !!! and she haggles prices and tells the men her exact wishes it is very interesting to watch...but time consuming as you can imagine :)
Eventually we think we have enough and set out to find headscarves. Whilst sitting in a shop on the upper level we suddenly see the head of a rather large lady emerge on a rickety looking spiral staircase...she is crying for help as she is suddenly frightened...i leap up and give her a hand and pull her up....a few minutes later we see a young man trying his luck coming up the stairs too looking for help !!! i told him he was not a damsel in distress ....sorry ...everyone laughed !!
Finally we are done and its 4 pm and we haven't eaten since breakfast.....and now shopping is over the ladies are hungry and no Mc donalds handy so we stop at the side of the road where they are barbequing chickens and fish on old barrels and wait while they cook.....eventually we eat and can laugh at all the craziness of the day....done for another year :)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Dreams broken, Dreams begun....
What a week it has been since i last wrote....
One of our graduated boys came to see me last weekend in a real confused state, he has been saving hard , doing lots of jobs for people to try and earn money so he and a friend can begin their own business. They have been dreaming of what their future will look like and planning what steps they need to take to get there....BUT he received news that has broken all of those dreams....He has gotten his girlfriend pregnant and her parents have sent her away from the house and she is now his responsibility....Not what he had planned, He was feeling so guilty and needed to be able to talk to someone who would not condemn him but someone to help him sort through what was going on in his head and help him seek forgiveness . I was the person he chose to talk to....As I sat listening to him my heart was broken as i felt his pain and i was incredibly humbled that he felt he could come and confess....broken dreams..
Then just as i was trying to get my head around the first broken dream I was informed by our nurse that one of our girls has tested positive for HIV ....I was just commenting after last weeks funeral that i didn't know how i would cope if one of our girls died and then a few days later here i am trying to explain to a teenager that she has a fatal disease and all the implications that go along with it...we have no idea how she contracted it and as she sat and wept all i could do was hold her and cry too and reassure her that it was not her fault her dreams were broken....
BUT
This week I have had the opportunity to dream dreams that God has for this ministry alongside a visitor who is looking to partner with us as we look to see how we can prepare our children to leave us and set up on their own. A year ago i had sat with this lady and expressed a dream that i felt God was showing me of a "vocational centre" that would be ideal for our kids, she too was thinking something similar and she went home and drew it out...then when she came back we discussed our idea one year on and were getting excited but knew now was not the right time and it seemed such an impossibility so we put it on the back burner while we worked on other things...BUT... We got the opportunity this week to meet the Governor of this States wife and went to view a vocational training project that she has been developing...as we were walking round both of us could not contain our excitement as we were witnessing the reality of something like what we had been dreaming before our eyes....the Governors wife had been dreaming for 6 years before beginning .... I was amazed that something like what i imagined could be done here and knew i have to trust that God can do it if He wants and i just need to keep the dream alive until the time is right...
I was able to start to clarify the dream of transitioning our older girls out of the ministry too, I was able to see that we should start working on the three older ones and had them to stay over this week to work with me and our visitor to brainstorm what they were thinking and dreaming for their future...it was a special time and awesome to see how these girls are able to dream of a bright future as a result of our ministry rescuing them from a hopeless situations. Their lives have been totally transformed by God .
As I reflect upon this week I am glad that God is not suprised by anything, he knows before we do what is coming and He holds everything in his hands. He knows our hopes and dreams, he knows that sometimes these get shattered and broken, He shares our sorrows and rejoices with us in our joys. He can bring dreams to fruition and provide all that is needed to fulfill them.
As I walk step by step with him i know he will accomplish what he wants for this ministry and all involved in it at just the right time.
One of our graduated boys came to see me last weekend in a real confused state, he has been saving hard , doing lots of jobs for people to try and earn money so he and a friend can begin their own business. They have been dreaming of what their future will look like and planning what steps they need to take to get there....BUT he received news that has broken all of those dreams....He has gotten his girlfriend pregnant and her parents have sent her away from the house and she is now his responsibility....Not what he had planned, He was feeling so guilty and needed to be able to talk to someone who would not condemn him but someone to help him sort through what was going on in his head and help him seek forgiveness . I was the person he chose to talk to....As I sat listening to him my heart was broken as i felt his pain and i was incredibly humbled that he felt he could come and confess....broken dreams..
Then just as i was trying to get my head around the first broken dream I was informed by our nurse that one of our girls has tested positive for HIV ....I was just commenting after last weeks funeral that i didn't know how i would cope if one of our girls died and then a few days later here i am trying to explain to a teenager that she has a fatal disease and all the implications that go along with it...we have no idea how she contracted it and as she sat and wept all i could do was hold her and cry too and reassure her that it was not her fault her dreams were broken....
BUT
This week I have had the opportunity to dream dreams that God has for this ministry alongside a visitor who is looking to partner with us as we look to see how we can prepare our children to leave us and set up on their own. A year ago i had sat with this lady and expressed a dream that i felt God was showing me of a "vocational centre" that would be ideal for our kids, she too was thinking something similar and she went home and drew it out...then when she came back we discussed our idea one year on and were getting excited but knew now was not the right time and it seemed such an impossibility so we put it on the back burner while we worked on other things...BUT... We got the opportunity this week to meet the Governor of this States wife and went to view a vocational training project that she has been developing...as we were walking round both of us could not contain our excitement as we were witnessing the reality of something like what we had been dreaming before our eyes....the Governors wife had been dreaming for 6 years before beginning .... I was amazed that something like what i imagined could be done here and knew i have to trust that God can do it if He wants and i just need to keep the dream alive until the time is right...
I was able to start to clarify the dream of transitioning our older girls out of the ministry too, I was able to see that we should start working on the three older ones and had them to stay over this week to work with me and our visitor to brainstorm what they were thinking and dreaming for their future...it was a special time and awesome to see how these girls are able to dream of a bright future as a result of our ministry rescuing them from a hopeless situations. Their lives have been totally transformed by God .
As I reflect upon this week I am glad that God is not suprised by anything, he knows before we do what is coming and He holds everything in his hands. He knows our hopes and dreams, he knows that sometimes these get shattered and broken, He shares our sorrows and rejoices with us in our joys. He can bring dreams to fruition and provide all that is needed to fulfill them.
As I walk step by step with him i know he will accomplish what he wants for this ministry and all involved in it at just the right time.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Be Still and Know that I am GOD.....
" When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with you above the storm,
Father you are King over the flood,
I will be still and know that you are God..."
This song has kept coming to my mind this week...... There have been times when i have felt totally overwhelmed, completely out of my depth at the enormity of what needs to be done here, where to start.
When there seems to be so much needless sadness and death, when just shaking a hand and smiling at a bereaved person seems to make all the difference.
When my plans for the day are completely thrown as a girl runs away, as one of our children dies and we have a burial to attend.
When my car starts making strange noises,when there is no electricity.
When it is hard to understand why people think like they do in the culture we live in, why their priorities are not the same as mine.
When i am confronted by my shortcomings and doubt that i will ever be the person God wants me to be...
When i wonder if i will have enough energy to cope with all the challenges....
It can feel like the ocean is rising and that i am going to drown BUT I am reminded that God is with me and will help me to soar above it all , and that i need to take time to be still and see God all around me in the lives of the children he has brought to us. Through sharing a meal with them, through spending time colouring and teaching them how to play with bottle tops!! and hear them giggling in delight
I know the oceans will continue to rise and the storms will continue to be fierce but I can be still and know that God is in control , and that i will soar above them all ...one day at a time :)
I will soar with you above the storm,
Father you are King over the flood,
I will be still and know that you are God..."
This song has kept coming to my mind this week...... There have been times when i have felt totally overwhelmed, completely out of my depth at the enormity of what needs to be done here, where to start.
When there seems to be so much needless sadness and death, when just shaking a hand and smiling at a bereaved person seems to make all the difference.
When my plans for the day are completely thrown as a girl runs away, as one of our children dies and we have a burial to attend.
When my car starts making strange noises,when there is no electricity.
When it is hard to understand why people think like they do in the culture we live in, why their priorities are not the same as mine.
When i am confronted by my shortcomings and doubt that i will ever be the person God wants me to be...
When i wonder if i will have enough energy to cope with all the challenges....
It can feel like the ocean is rising and that i am going to drown BUT I am reminded that God is with me and will help me to soar above it all , and that i need to take time to be still and see God all around me in the lives of the children he has brought to us. Through sharing a meal with them, through spending time colouring and teaching them how to play with bottle tops!! and hear them giggling in delight
I know the oceans will continue to rise and the storms will continue to be fierce but I can be still and know that God is in control , and that i will soar above them all ...one day at a time :)
Thursday, October 21, 2010
The Battle is strong but we are on the winning side :)
This truth was brought home to me again yesterday as it has been many times since my return to Nigeria. It was a day of mixed emotions, a day of contrasts in which I witnessed the battle between Good and Evil manifested over and over again...I was driving to Gyero ( our rural care centre where we have 110 kids ) down the un- made road early in the morning. It was a nice day as I drove past many groups of women all carrying things on their heads as they walked to their farms as it is harvest time here. It was a really lovely sight, so colourful a real sense of community as whole families/communities all turning out together to gather in the harvest, all laughing and singing as they trekked together.
i had gone this day to meet one of our staff who was bringing a new girl whose life had been threatened because of her involvement in the occult. When they arrived I was suprised to see such a small girl of 5 years and one who clearly had not seen a white lady before !! she was quite scared.
Her Father had brought her as the people in his community had rejected her as it became known that her mother had been involved in the occult herself and was likely to have initiated her daughter. The mother had been sent away and the father left with this girl. Satan is so good at blinding people's minds they are blinded to see truth and do not believe they can pray against thses things themselves. Satan loves it particularly when it involves children...BUT God has other plans...she was rescued and brought to us, prayed for and delivered from any evil. Her Father too gave his life to Christ , he went home a changed man PTL. This precious new life is now in our care...a living example to the power of God.
She was quickly welcomed by Faith one of our other new girls (of just two weeks) one who knows how her own life was spared ...it is great to see how well the girls all look after each other.
Suddenly there was a loud wailing to be heard over the village , upon investigation i saw a lot of women running and crying up the road I had previously seen them walking down a few hours before. There were so many running for their lives, we heard that there had been some fighting between rival tribesmen in the farmland and two fatalities, the ladies were scared of another uprising...having lived through several.. It was so sad...we too had to quickly leave the village, which was really heartbreaking leaving the children behind all we could do was to pray for their protection.
There was a spriritual battle going on too it was clear, we prayed and prayed for God to bring calm and He did and rain and rain and rain...( we are in the dry season !! )
As I was processing my day from the safety of my home I was reminded that He who is in me IS GREATER than he who is in the world. That the victory is his...BUT we have to be aware that the battle is very real and prepare ourselves because as yesterday shows he can strike at any time.. Praise The Lord he protected me and our children...but please join us in praying as the battle is strong...but rejoice that we are on the winning side.
i had gone this day to meet one of our staff who was bringing a new girl whose life had been threatened because of her involvement in the occult. When they arrived I was suprised to see such a small girl of 5 years and one who clearly had not seen a white lady before !! she was quite scared.
Her Father had brought her as the people in his community had rejected her as it became known that her mother had been involved in the occult herself and was likely to have initiated her daughter. The mother had been sent away and the father left with this girl. Satan is so good at blinding people's minds they are blinded to see truth and do not believe they can pray against thses things themselves. Satan loves it particularly when it involves children...BUT God has other plans...she was rescued and brought to us, prayed for and delivered from any evil. Her Father too gave his life to Christ , he went home a changed man PTL. This precious new life is now in our care...a living example to the power of God.
She was quickly welcomed by Faith one of our other new girls (of just two weeks) one who knows how her own life was spared ...it is great to see how well the girls all look after each other.
Suddenly there was a loud wailing to be heard over the village , upon investigation i saw a lot of women running and crying up the road I had previously seen them walking down a few hours before. There were so many running for their lives, we heard that there had been some fighting between rival tribesmen in the farmland and two fatalities, the ladies were scared of another uprising...having lived through several.. It was so sad...we too had to quickly leave the village, which was really heartbreaking leaving the children behind all we could do was to pray for their protection.
There was a spriritual battle going on too it was clear, we prayed and prayed for God to bring calm and He did and rain and rain and rain...( we are in the dry season !! )
As I was processing my day from the safety of my home I was reminded that He who is in me IS GREATER than he who is in the world. That the victory is his...BUT we have to be aware that the battle is very real and prepare ourselves because as yesterday shows he can strike at any time.. Praise The Lord he protected me and our children...but please join us in praying as the battle is strong...but rejoice that we are on the winning side.
My Return to Jos and Blogging.
I returned to Jos six weeks ago after spending six months back in UK. It is my intention to re start my blog and hope you will all enjoy keeping up with the many stories that i will post about my work here amongst many precious children whom God has brought to a place of safety...to a House Of Hope ( Gidan Bege ).
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