Dreams broken, Dreams begun....

What a week it has been since i last wrote....
One of our graduated boys came to see me last weekend in a real confused state, he has been saving hard , doing lots of jobs for people to try and earn money so he and a friend can begin their own business. They have been dreaming of what their future will look like and planning what steps they need to take to get there....BUT he received news that has broken all of those dreams....He has gotten his girlfriend pregnant and her parents have sent her away from the house and she is now his responsibility....Not what he had planned, He was feeling so guilty and needed to be able to talk to someone who would not condemn him but someone to help him sort through what was going on in his head and help him seek forgiveness . I was the person he chose to talk to....As I sat listening to him my heart was broken as i felt his pain and i was incredibly humbled that he felt he could come and confess....broken dreams..
Then just as i was trying to get my head around the first broken dream I was informed by our nurse that one of our girls has tested positive for HIV ....I was just commenting after last weeks funeral that i didn't know how i would cope if one of our girls died and then a few days later here i am trying to explain to a teenager that she has a fatal disease and all the implications that go along with it...we have no idea how she contracted it and as she sat and wept all i could do was hold her and cry too and reassure her that it was not her fault her dreams were broken....
BUT
This week I have had the opportunity to dream dreams that God has for this ministry alongside a visitor who is looking to partner with us as we look to see how we can prepare our children to leave us and set up on their own. A year ago i had sat with this lady and expressed a dream that i felt God was showing me of a "vocational centre" that would be ideal for our kids, she too was thinking something similar and she went home and drew it out...then when she came back we discussed our idea one year on and were getting excited but knew now was not the right time and it seemed such an impossibility so we put it on the back burner while we worked on other things...BUT... We got the opportunity this week to meet the Governor of this States wife and went to view a vocational training project that she has been developing...as we were walking round both of us could not contain our excitement as we were witnessing the reality of something like what we had been dreaming before our eyes....the Governors wife had been dreaming for 6 years before beginning .... I was amazed that something like what i imagined could be done here and knew i have to trust that God can do it if He wants and i just need to keep the dream alive until the time is right...
I was able to start to clarify the dream of transitioning our older girls out of the ministry too, I was able to see that we should start working on the three older ones and had them to stay over this week to work with me and our visitor to brainstorm what they were thinking and dreaming for their future...it was a special time and awesome to see how these girls are able to dream of a bright future as a result of our ministry rescuing them from a hopeless situations. Their lives have been totally transformed by God .
As I reflect upon this week I am glad that God is not suprised by anything, he knows before we do what is coming and He holds everything in his hands. He knows our hopes and dreams, he knows that sometimes these get shattered and broken, He shares our sorrows and rejoices with us in our joys. He can bring dreams to fruition and provide all that is needed to fulfill them.
As I walk step by step with him i know he will accomplish what he wants for this ministry and all involved in it at just the right time.

Be Still and Know that I am GOD.....

" When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with you above the storm,
Father you are King over the flood,
I will be still and know that you are God..."

This song has kept coming to my mind this week...... There have been times when i have felt totally overwhelmed, completely out of my depth at the enormity of what needs to be done here, where to start.
When there seems to be so much needless sadness and death, when just shaking a hand and smiling at a bereaved person seems to make all the difference.
When my plans for the day are completely thrown as a girl runs away, as one of our children dies and we have a burial to attend.
When my car starts making strange noises,when there is no electricity.
When it is hard to understand why people think like they do in the culture we live in, why their priorities are not the same as mine.
When i am confronted by my shortcomings and doubt that i will ever be the person God wants me to be...
When i wonder if i will have enough energy to cope with all the challenges....

It can feel like the ocean is rising and that i am going to drown BUT I am reminded that God is with me and will help me to soar above it all , and that i need to take time to be still and see God all around me in the lives of the children he has brought to us. Through sharing a meal with them, through spending time colouring and teaching them how to play with bottle tops!! and hear them giggling in delight
I know the oceans will continue to rise and the storms will continue to be fierce but I can be still and know that God is in control , and that i will soar above them all ...one day at a time :)

The Battle is strong but we are on the winning side :)

This truth was brought home to me again yesterday as it has been many times since my return to Nigeria. It was a day of mixed emotions, a day of contrasts in which I witnessed the battle between Good and Evil manifested over and over again...I was driving to Gyero ( our rural care centre where we have 110 kids ) down the un- made road early in the morning. It was a nice day as I drove past many groups of women all carrying things on their heads as they walked to their farms as it is harvest time here. It was a really lovely sight, so colourful a real sense of community as whole families/communities all turning out together to gather in the harvest, all laughing and singing as they trekked together.



i had gone this day to meet one of our staff who was bringing a new girl whose life had been threatened because of her involvement in the occult. When they arrived I was suprised to see such a small girl of 5 years and one who clearly had not seen a white lady before !! she was quite scared.
Her Father had brought her as the people in his community had rejected her as it became known that her mother had been involved in the occult herself and was likely to have initiated her daughter. The mother had been sent away and the father left with this girl. Satan is so good at blinding people's minds they are blinded to see truth and do not believe they can pray against thses things themselves. Satan loves it particularly when it involves children...BUT God has other plans...she was rescued and brought to us, prayed for and delivered from any evil. Her Father too gave his life to Christ , he went home a changed man PTL. This precious new life is now in our care...a living example to the power of God.
She was quickly welcomed by Faith one of our other new girls (of just two weeks) one who knows how her own life was spared ...it is great to see how well the girls all look after each other.


Suddenly there was a loud wailing to be heard over the village , upon investigation i saw a lot of women running and crying up the road I had previously seen them walking down a few hours before. There were so many running for their lives, we heard that there had been some fighting between rival tribesmen in the farmland and two fatalities, the ladies were scared of another uprising...having lived through several.. It was so sad...we too had to quickly leave the village, which was really heartbreaking leaving the children behind all we could do was to pray for their protection.

There was a spriritual battle going on too it was clear, we prayed and prayed for God to bring calm and He did and rain and rain and rain...( we are in the dry season !! )

As I was processing my day from the safety of my home I was reminded that He who is in me IS GREATER than he who is in the world. That the victory is his...BUT we have to be aware that the battle is very real and prepare ourselves because as yesterday shows he can strike at any time.. Praise The Lord he protected me and our children...but please join us in praying as the battle is strong...but rejoice that we are on the winning side.

My Return to Jos and Blogging.

I returned to Jos six weeks ago after spending six months back in UK. It is my intention to re start my blog and hope you will all enjoy keeping up with the many stories that i will post about my work here amongst many precious children whom God has brought to a place of safety...to a House Of Hope ( Gidan Bege ).

Consider How precious children are to God....

This is Nkiru, an 11 year old girl who was brought to our centre this week. She was clearly very under nourished and very traumatised and withdrawn, she was sooooo skinny, it was very sad to see.
Her story is as follows :-
She was born out of wedlock and her father disappeared and she has never seen him. She has lived with her mother who has blamed her from the day she was born for causing her trouble by being born.... The mother married and has two other children whom she treats very differently.
Her mother is a heavy drinker and after working she goes to the local bars and comes back and beats Nkiru daily. She had been eating most days one meal a day sometimes no food at all, and told of being beaten, locked up and starved...Until she was so hungry when a woman offered her a biscuit in the street she ate it and then found herself initiated into the secret society (ocult movement)...and then all hell literally broke loose and she was abandoned by her mother, and an aunt brought her to us. Ironically getting involved in the cult was her salvation to getting out from a horendous life, where she has grown up with the messages that she is unwanted and unloved. It is so hard to imagine doing such horrible things to an innocent child. As she was recounting her story we were all moved to tears, to see how thin she is and how withdrawn was so cruel and heart breaking to see.
It made me think of how our creator God feels to see one of his precious creations treated in such a horrible way, his heart is surely breaking for so many like Nkiru who are not rescued and brought out to a ministry like ours. I recieved a book this week from one of our supporters in US entitled " Too Small To Ignore" reminding us all that the least of these matters....
It reminds me that Satans most important task is to break the heart of God and he knows how much little children are important to Him and so he attacks small and innocent children. I quote

" At the moment of birth all heaven waits in anticipation and breaks into songs of joy , each child born into the world is in the image of its creator with the potential of bringing glory to God, meanwhile Satan and his hosts are waiting ready to pounce and destroy that life as quickly as possible , knowing it will break the heart of God. Given this frightening warfare between Heaven and Hell it is all the more ironic that children are seemingly so unimportant to adults."

We see so many innocent children being abused by adults here for their own gratification in this withcraft it is horrible. Praise God he has armed us for the battle and He has defeated Satan and these children can be delivered by the power of prayer. Please continue to pray for the children all over the world who are abused and used by adults for their own gain, innocent lives each one precous to their creator, it is not something that can keep on being ignored.

He holds my every moment.....

Yesterday was a very sad day in our ministry . One of our boys who had been reconcilled back to his family died, aged 18 years of kidney failure. Something which probably could have been helped in a country with better medical care, but he suddenly became ill and within a few weeks was admitted to hospital and died.A young life so full of potential. Lukman was a gifted boy, he sang very well in a band, he was a gifed artist and a born leader. He was a converted Muslim and was sure of his salvation.

Death is such a common thing here, it is treated with respect and the whole family and community all come out to send the person home. The family are involved in digging the grave, preparing the body etc..there is no funeral directors to do it, a distressing thought to us but one in which the family has the chance to do something for the person one last time.

Lukman came from a village in the bush and so his body had to be taken home to rest in the family compound. As money is so short we as a ministry provided a truck and a convoy of us drove on the rough unmade roads, across rivers with no bridges, over rocks and grass, slip slidding in the mud for 4 hours to reach the village. The whole community was waiting to bury their dead, and our boys who were his classmates carried his coffin and laid him to rest. It was all hands on deck to fill in the grave with earth and to pray over the body...there was much wailing and agony at such a young life full of potential being taken......but leaving behind such a legacy to his community.

It always strikes me in church and whenever a Nigerian believer prays they always thank God that they are alive, among the living ones. Believing that they are no better than those who have died but that God must have a reason for leaving them alive to live another day.

They know that one day they will die and that could be today, life seems so short here and so they live with one foot in eternity, and are grateful for every day...it is such a sobering thought and it helps me to appreciate every day i am alive to think about what is the reason that God has left me alive today what is it that he is wanting me to do for Him?

What about you ?

I love the words of this song....

You hold my every moment,

You calm my raging seas,

You walk with me through fire,

You heal all my disease.

I Trust in You, Lord I Trust in You....

Nothing is impossible for you,

Nothing is impossible for you,

You hold my world in your hands....

I am glad that i don't know what will happen tomorrow but i am sooooooooo glad that my Heavenly father knows already and He holds my every moment....and He holds my world in His hands so i dont need to worry but just Trust and walk with Him one day at a time through whatever He has instore for me.

Camp 2009

I have just returned from a week of camp...a wet and muddy week but one in which God really challenged all of us in so many ways.

This was the first year that we combined the boys and girls for camp ( as we have so many girls now 34) and we had around 150 at junior camp and 100 at our senior camp.....plenty children many of whom have never had this experience before of going to camp...thankfully not under canvas !!We had as our theme "Lead Others to Christ" and lead the children through a series of studies and discussions on Judging, making choices, making a difference in the word they live in, sharing their faith and encouraging others...all to help them as they start to think about transitioning out of the ministry and back into their communities to make a difference.The lessons were all practical and at whatever stage the children were they could all relate.Each morning the Nigerian Uncles led Praise and Worship and gave a devotion, this is always a highlight for me to see our kids worshiping so enthusiastically.

We had a team from Moody Church in Chicago come to help us and they did an awesome job of relating to our kids.

Each afternoon we did activities either hiking, sport or making sandals...(something we hope to be able to start to produce for sale in the future) I stayed with the 8 oldest girls in our ministry and that was great....they gave me such a hard time with my clumsiness !!! There was so much mud it was a challenge for me to stay clean but they seemed to manage it no problem ....in the end they made sure there was always a bucket of water outside the room for me to wash my feet in before i entered....

I introduced them to pillow fights and showed them how to have fun !!! they have had so little opportunity to relax in their lives....and have fun :) So even though I am tired it was an amazing week for all concerned, for me i was stretched in many different ways....and was amazed with how God used me a weak vessel to make a difference in the lives of these children.

Check out the pictures .....

girls fighting back !!!

worship

two of the team
early morning devotions...6am
making the sandals

the food...